As victims of betrayal, and the trauma that goes along with it, we face a mountain range of obstacles which stand between us and a healthy, fulfilling life. But we serve a God who casts mountains into the depths of the sea! We may be betrayed wives, but with a mustard seed of faith, a fierce resolve to obey God, the determination to do the work, and the help of the Giver of all good things we CAN heal from this and spend our lives, not as victims but as victors!
My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
He is mine forever. Psalm 73:26
There are many popular mantras I hear people repeat in the betrayal trauma recovery world that just make me cringe. These nuggets of “wisdom” often sound wonderful, but they just aren’t centered around Biblical principles and as a result, allowing them to shape our thinking will actually stop progress if what we seek is true […]
If you’ve ever wondered how to heal a betrayed heart, then you probably already know that betrayal is a vicious monster who seeks to destroy its victims. It demolishes our trust in people, steals every glimmer of hope that keeps us going, and plunges us into the isolation of loneliness. In that darkness we find […]
A new reality – that’s the best way I know to describe the state of mind I found myself in after discovering my husband’s infidelity. For countless women, this is the case. It’s as jarring as if we had been caught in some sort of transporter ray by some alternate dimension alien and found ourselves […]
When we come to a place in which we realize letting go of control and fear has become a necessity, I doubt there are many of us who naturally think of good boundaries as the way to do it! Quite the opposite. Most people have such a distorted view of boundaries, that they end up thinking of them as […]
Often, when lies have defined a relationship for many years, we’re left wondering, will I ever stop waiting for the other shoe to drop? Even after years of solid recovery, many of us find ourselves struggling to believe we’re not still being lied to. How can we ever know for sure, we wonder? What if we’re being naïve or […]
People far wiser than myself have named three stages to the process of healing from Betrayal Trauma, and as a survivor, I can definitely find pieces of my own story in each of those stages of betrayal recovery. But I’m here to tell you, the journey to healing is not linear. We won’t move through […]
Here you are, you’ve found yourself in that terrible place which has become a reality for countless wives across the world. You’ve discovered his porn problem. Maybe you’ve known for a while that he looked here and there, or that he “struggled,” but you’ve finally come to recognize that this is no small issue. He’s […]
Sadness, grief, deep sorrow; these are things that make us uncomfortable. In times of loss, we’re quick to call for healing both in ourselves and in others because we don’t want to deal with the painful emotions involved in the stages of grief. But the reality is, when we’ve suffered a loss (whether as a […]
Around here, we’re interested in two things when it comes to just about any topic: What does the Bible says on the issue, and how we can practically apply that within our day-to-day lives. Surviving betrayal taught me that the world has a whole lot to say on the topic of self-care, but not much […]
Being “triggered” is a very real, very natural, and very agonizing aspect of overcoming trauma, including betrayal trauma. The term refers to the moments when we are very suddenly and unexpectedly reminded of our pain and upheaval in a way that propels us back into the crippling state of shock experienced at the onset of the traumatic experience. Most of us didn’t […]
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