5 Popular Mantras that Stop Progress in Betrayal Trauma Recovery

5 Popular Mantras that Stop Progress in Betrayal Trauma Recovery

There are many popular mantras I hear people repeat in the betrayal trauma recovery world that just make me cringe. These nuggets of “wisdom” often sound wonderful, but they just aren’t centered around Biblical principles and as a result, allowing them to shape our thinking will actually stop progress if what we seek is true […]

How to Heal a Betrayed Heart – 5 Steps that can Make Me Whole Again

How to Heal a Betrayed Heart - 5 Steps that can Make Me Whole Again

If you’ve ever wondered how to heal a betrayed heart, then you probably already know that betrayal is a vicious monster who seeks to destroy its victims. It demolishes our trust in people, steals every glimmer of hope that keeps us going, and plunges us into the isolation of loneliness. In that darkness we find […]

Processing Trauma to Understand a New Reality

Processing Trauma to Understand A New Reality

A new reality – that’s the best way I know to describe the state of mind I found myself in after discovering my husband’s infidelity. For countless women, this is the case. It’s as jarring as if we had been caught in some sort of transporter ray by some alternate dimension alien and found ourselves […]

Letting Go of Control and Fear with Good Boundaries

Letting Go of Control and Fear with Good Boundaries

When we come to a place in which we realize letting go of control and fear has become a necessity, I doubt there are many of us who naturally think of good boundaries as the way to do it! Quite the opposite. Most people have such a distorted view of boundaries, that they end up thinking of them as […]

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Often, when lies have defined a relationship for many years, we’re left wondering, will I ever stop waiting for the other shoe to drop? Even after years of solid recovery, many of us find ourselves struggling to believe we’re not still being lied to. How can we ever know for sure, we wonder? What if we’re being naïve or […]

Healing is Not Linear: Navigating the 3 Stages of Betrayal Recovery

Healing is Not Linear

People far wiser than myself have named three stages to the process of healing from Betrayal Trauma, and as a survivor, I can definitely find pieces of my own story in each of those stages of betrayal recovery. But I’m here to tell you, the journey to healing is not linear. We won’t move through […]

What Should I Do About His Porn Problem? 8 “First Steps” for Wives

What Should I Do About His Porn Problem - 8 First Steps for Wives

Here you are, you’ve found yourself in that terrible place which has become a reality for countless wives across the world. You’ve discovered his porn problem. Maybe you’ve known for a while that he looked here and there, or that he “struggled,” but you’ve finally come to recognize that this is no small issue. He’s […]

A Time to Mourn – The Importance of Grieving an Intimate Betrayal

A Time to Mourn The Importance of Grieving an Intimate Betrayal

Sadness, grief, deep sorrow; these are things that make us uncomfortable. In times of loss, we’re quick to call for healing both in ourselves and in others because we don’t want to deal with the painful emotions involved in the stages of grief. But the reality is, when we’ve suffered a loss (whether as a […]

Triggered: 5 Practical Steps for Overcoming Trauma Reminders

Triggered - 5 Practical Steps for Overcoming Trauma Reminders

Being “triggered” is a very real, very natural, and very agonizing aspect of overcoming trauma, including betrayal trauma. The term refers to the moments when we are very suddenly and unexpectedly reminded of our pain and upheaval in a way that propels us back into the crippling state of shock experienced at the onset of the traumatic experience. Most of us didn’t […]